Hey everyone, welcome back to Life in Europe.

When I left you in the last post, I was stuck in a loop of waiting. The year was 2022. I had just finished my MPhil from PUcit, the world was recovering from the pandemic, and I was still trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between my life in Lahore and my big dream of moving abroad.

Then, everything paused for the most beautiful reason.

A Reset at the Most Sacred Place

In 2022, Allah invited me to His house for Umrah. I traveled to Makkah and Madinah with my mother, my sister, and my brother. It was an absolutely incredible, soul-cleansing experience. Standing there, away from the noise of the daily grind, I prayed a lot. I laid down every single worry, every ambition, and every matter of my life before Him.

When I came back home, I felt a deep sense of peace—and a renewed focus. I knew it was time to put in the work.

Cracking the IELTS (7 Bands!)

By 2024, I decided it was time to take the big leap. I finally booked my IELTS test.

I didn’t want to leave anything to chance, so I dove into preparation. I used every resource I could find, spending endless hours on practice websites like IELTS Test Simulation to get used to the format. But test prep can be lonely, so I reached out to my friends who were already living abroad. We set up practice sessions together, speaking and testing each other.

All that practicing paid off. When the result came out, I saw a 7.0 Band staring back at me. Alhamdullilah! It was exactly what I needed, and the door to Europe felt wide open.

When Everything Shattered

But life has a way of testing your resolve. Just three or four days after my IELTS result arrived, a sudden storm hit our house.

My mother fell severely ill with excruciating sciatica pain. Seeing your mother in that kind of pain changes you instantly. In a heartbeat, Europe didn’t matter. Scholarships didn’t matter. My career didn’t matter.

I dropped every single plan I was working on.

The next year was easily one of the most painful times of my life. Our days became a blur of hospital visits, endless doctor appointments, physiotherapy sessions, and sleepless nights. The house was filled with a heavy sadness. Watching someone you love suffer while you sit by helplessly eats away at your spirit. I put my dreams completely on a shelf, and honestly, I didn’t care if I ever took them down again. My only focus was her.

Gathering the Pieces

Slowly, over many months, Alhamdulillah, my mother’s health started to improve. As she began to feel better, the heavy cloud over our home started to lift. And as she healed, I realized it was time to heal too.

I had to gently gather myself back up.

I pulled out my documents again. I started looking into Master’s and PhD scholarships across Europe. But if I’m being completely honest, my focus wasn’t fully there yet. My freelancing business was doing really well; I was handling multiple clients, and life financially was good.

A part of me was comfortable, but another part of me was restless. My mind was flooded with a million thoughts every night: Should I keep applying for scholarships? Or should I try to land a direct remote job in Europe? Am I making the right move?

I was standing at a crossroads, financially stable but emotionally torn, trying to figure out what Allah had planned next for the girl who just wanted to see the world.